So far it hasn’t been that bad. It’s only the second day, but still. Baby steps, right? It’s alot quieter around the house, and alot cleaner. I miss them so much!! But seeing their excitement makes everything worth it.

This is OUR opportunity of a lifetime. Me for, to share all the grace and love and patience and mercy God has given to me with you. It is my responsibility to pass forward the great news of God’s saving grace. It’s your opportunity to experience it. To be forgiven, saved, and never abandoned.

I’m not trying to be preachy, or throw Bible verses to you. I just want to share with everyone who reads this, and even if it’s one person, that God is magnificent. God is capable of everything we can’t even imagine. He has taken my messy complicated self, and walked me through so much. He wants to take all of our messy complicated selves, and make us whole again. I can’t explain it, I can barely describe it. But God loves you, and wants to know you. Be under a rock, or on top of mountain, God wants to talk to you at any level.

Lord, use me to spread Your name.

As I pray, and wait upon you Lord.

I know your grace, In love I am restored.

As I think of all You’ve done for me

The mystery of Your love.

Who walked upon the sea?

Who lived to die for me?

You, Lord….You are Lord

As I look upon You, I am changed.

And though I fail,

Your faithful love remains

As I sing and worship You,

I find again no words describe Your love.

Who walked upon the sea?

Whose love has covered me?

You, Lord….You are Lord.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah!

There is none like You.

So I took a few shots and thought I’d share with you guys. 

Check back in the next couple days of a sneak peek Keira’s mom!!!!

I shamelessly follow the footsteps placed before me.

It seems as though my eyes are blind,

and so un in tune with my heart.

Threatening the old to melt away into nothing,

as I follow whatever journey comes next.

I come across endless traps of straight paths,

yet, I only seem to be able to go sideways.

Differences mend wounds, but new scars are formed.

There are some scars that can never disappear.

How much more time is going to be consumed with these memories?

Memories of pain, hurt, and sorrow.

Who predicts what love is and where it goes?

Why are there so many tangible forms of love and hate,

yet the inner soul is the thing built or damaged?

It’s a feeling so strong and powerful,

twisted with confusion and worry.

The thing I dread the most

dangles in front of my face, showing me life and death.

The realization of the enemy of myself equals pain.

My mind seems to speak for itself,

yet no words seem to ever be heard.

6.6.99

-Unpack the basement. Get everything organized and put into their correct spots. This is a huge task in itself, but I bet I will do it.

-Photo shoot with the gorgeous Jenny Shifler. I cannot WAIT for this!

-Shoot in United, and branch over to Celebration as well. I steer towards shooting in United because I am in love with the lights. They make for great pictures, and the staging along with them, makes for great pictures. But this month, I am going to shoot in Celebration and see how that goes. They don’t have the lightshow that United does, but they have the JumboTron which is pretty sweet.

-Exercise on my new elliptical 3-4 times per week. Wow, this thing is amazing!! It will be my new best friend and my worst enemy.

-Go to CHICAGO! YEAH!!! My brother moved out there in January, and I miss him terribly. I need to see his face desperately, so I am going to make a trip out. Also, my birth mother lives out there, so I am going to catch up with her and the rest of my family. I am looking forward to it SOO much!!!

-Go on a date with my star sister Sara!! Geeze, it’s been way too long!!!

-Spray the patio with weed killer. Yeah, small task, but I keep putting it off. After this is complete, then put together our new fire pit!! Yay!

Ok, 7 goals this month. After slacking last month, this is a good start to getting back into it. Wish me luck!!  

Happy July!

I love her even though she splashes dead fish water in my mouth, sends random pictures of people to us on Facebook, can never ever find her keys, even though they’re usually always in the same spot.  I love the way she loves my kids, and the way my kids love her. I love the way that my dad and her are still so completely in love after 30 years. I love the way that she is open minded and supportive. I love laughing with her. I love the way even after all this time, she still knows how to be a silly and have fun!

My mom deserves the world on a silver platter. She is one of the most gracious people I have ever met, and you don’t have to earn it. Her heart is just overflowing with love for people, and I am lucky to experience that more than most. Happy Birthday Mom.

So with that being said, it’s been sunny a lot these past few weeks and I didn’t get many of my April goals accomplished. FAIL! But May is a new month and I won’t allow myself to get discouraged. There’s gonna be alot of roll over goals, but that’s ok. Maybe I’ll just have to throw in a goal or two involving being out in the sunshine more.

-Spend more time outdoors in the sun ; )

- Shoot twice in United.

- Paint the stripes in Chloe’s room (yep, a rollover goal for sure!)

- Vacuum, bucket and mop my floors ,and dust. (another rollover)

-Shoot Amy and Mark’s wedding and not throw up from nerves.

- Purchase the 70-200mm 2.8L IS…OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Have a fabulous time capturing and celebrating Andrea and Adam becoming Mr. & Mrs. Swisher! May 29^th!!!

- Take pictures of someone just for fun. Any takers?

- Drink more Vitamin Water. Man that stuff is GOOD! And I’m told it’s good for you.

-Play my guitar! Bring it home and actually get it out of the case and play. I did this last month pretty consistently, and loved playing. I loved how my fingertips started peeling from the calluses. I want to get back into that again.

- Go to a movie. In a theater. Maybe even on a Friday. Look out!

- Wear more colors. Someone told me I wear too much black and gray. So I’ll try branching out this month.

- Make more playlists on my Ipod.

- Did I say something already about enjoying sunshine? Well, either way, enjoy the SUN!

Here’s a sneak peek of the shoot from this morning. Alex is such a beautiful girl! I can’t wait for you guys to see more from this shoot!

Happy May!

So many reasons why I am ready to get into March.

1. It snowed about a total of 5 feet in February. And I don’t enjoy snow.

2. Because of all the snow, I was marooned in my house for 9 days. 9 days, people!!! I did not leave or go outside of my house for more than a whole week. No interaction with the outside world, no other conversations with any friends..It was a long 9 days.

3. My daughter Chloe didn’t have school for 13 days in a row. I love my daughter greatly, I truly do. But she is so exactly like me, that nine days without a break was very draining. Being stuck at home, with Chloe out of school, and Colin and her not being able to play out in the snow because it was too deep to walk in…phew, I needed a break!

4. I had photo shoots scheduled, but guess what cancelled them?! SNOW! And my creative juices need to start flowing again! Winter/slow season is not fun!

5. Ok, most (…..or all……) of the reasons why February was so blah was the snow. But there was so much of it, and it lasted forever. It just didn’t stop. I still have piles and piles of snow in my yard.

Don’t believe it was as bad as I say? Well, take a look, here’s a few pictures of the horribleness that was the Blizzard of ’10. I went out once, at night, took about 4 pictures,  got depressed, and quickly went back inside. At that point it was still supposed to snow for 12 more hours. I need to move someplace warm.

The snow drained me. I became so unmotivated last month. Things got pushed back, I got lazy, and they never came forward again. So my plan is to make it up in March. I’m just hoping it doesn’t snow like “they” say it’s going to… Wish me luck on my March goals!

-          Shoot twice in United. I didn’t get to do this February. Church was cancelled due to snow (shocker, right?), and I had to fill in on guitar in another service that takes place at the same time as United. Excuses, no excuses, it’s still a goal.

-          Clean the basement. Yikes! The basement has become the kid’s playroom/roller skating rink. And we don’t get down there to clean it that often.

-          A photo shoot. Of anything. Anything at all. I need to take pictures of something. I’m about to give away a free session, my creative need is that bad!

-          Hopefully get all the Crazy Booth supplies ordered and ready to try it out for Andrea’s bridal shower..Crossing my fingers on this one!

-          I’m starting slow, but changing the pictures on the website. At least the Front page, the Info/Pricing page, the About page, and the Contact page. I’ll start with those, and work on the galleries next month.

-          Exercise

-          Continue developing as a phone talker. I’ve talked more on the phone this year than most, but it needs to become more of a habit.

-          Catch up on Lost. This shouldn’t be hard : )

-          Vacuum (yes, I still have to write this, or it won’t get done)

-          Print more business cards. That’s a good problem to have, right?!

That’s all I have for now. Here’s to March, hoping it gets warm and green!

What happened to us? We used to be so great together. We used to be friends and actually like each other’s company. We used to play and laugh and tease each other. We were FUN! Our relationship doesn’t even come close to resembling what we began as.

It started a few months ago. It was like old times. We were happy. Truly happy. And then something inside you switched and you just became a completely different person. You weren’t your happy go lucky carefree self. You became a monster.

You were always on my back about something. Bugging me, hounding me, taunting me here and there. Forcing me to be with you or no one else. It seemed like you stopped liking me for who I was and wanted me to become you, or to become more like you. I never stopped loving you, but I had my own feelings, my own desires. I had my own opinion about perfection and it wasn’t yours. So we started clashing. I never got on board with your ideas, so you freaked out. You went wild. Forcing me to stay home and not see anyone but you. I felt alone and cold. You wouldn’t let me do anything. I couldn’t feel anymore. I had become your slave.

I can’t do it anymore. And I won’t. I want out. I am walking away. PLEASE don’t follow me. You’ll always hold a special place in my heart. We had some great times, but those times are buried and I can’t take the burden anymore.

Snow…..it’s over. Please don’t call me again.

Love,
Ash

P.S. Seriously? You came ALL the way up to the back door? You know you can’t get it that way. Stop trying!

It was harder than I thought to come up with NEW goals though. I have alot of repeats. But “they” say it take around 21 repetitive actions to form a habit. Wish me luck!

 
 
- Go on a date with my husband. This is a repeat, and will be every month.

-Shoot in UWE twice. I am really enjoying this goal. I spent the first 8 months with my camera in that service, and it feels good to go back!

- Read 5 books. It shouldn’t be too hard. I read ‘The Hobbit’ last month, and 3 other books after that.

- Book two weddings for 2010.

- Get on the elliptical and actually exercise!!

- Organize my office. Not looking forward to THIS one!! It’s a mess!

-Watch all my Hillsong DVDs back to back.

- Start taking vitamins.

- Make a sit down dinner 4 nights a week. This sounds horrible, like I don’t make dinner for my family. I do, but my goal is to make a dinner-dinner 4 nights a week. Aaron is gone a lot at dinnertime during the week, so I usually just make something for the kids that night and eat later with Aaron. In January though, I was making dinner for us 3 regardless. It was fun, and my kids really enjoyed it.

- Taxes!

- Vacuum. Another repeat, but I think it’s worth it ; )

- Lunch/Coffee date with Jessie Robinson

- Photo shoot with Melissa Stallard. She’s a upcoming photographer and we’re getting together for a photo shoot. This time, I’ll be on the OTHER side of the camera, YIKES!

Stay warm, everybody!